Let’s say you‘re texting your crush, things are going well but then suddenly the conversation starts to die down. They stop responding and you don’t know how to revive it. What do you do?
One of the most common things that happen when your crush stops responding is you start to overthink.
- What if they’re not responding because they don’t like me?
- What if they think the conversation’s boring and they think I’m boring?
- What if they’re texting someone else that they like even more than me right now?
You might even find yourself in a place where you want to message them and ask them “Hey why aren’t you responding? What’s going on?” but I think that’s the wrong approach to take.
Instead what I want you to actually focus on here are two key pieces. One of them is going to be referencing something that you’ve talked about in the past and the other one’s going to be starting a new more interesting conversation.
Tip #1: Reference something that you’ve talked about in the past
When I talk about referencing there are a few different directions you can go. The more obvious one is to look back at your previous conversations with your crush and to see if there was anything the two of you talked about that stood out. Something that caught their eye, something that they were interested in discussing with you. Maybe you guys are talking about a movie that you recently watched or the last time you played Among Us.
You might want to say something like:
“Hey I haven’t really seen a good movie on Netflix since ____. What’s another good movie I should check out?”
Or if you guys were playing video games together say:
“Man, I can’t wait to jump back into Among Us. You in?”.
This callback to the thing that the two of you shared together is hopefully gonna get them re-engaged. They’re gonna see that message, think about the good time they shared with you, and then actually respond.
Tip #2: Start a new, more interesting conversation
If you’re starting a new conversation, try to follow these three simple rules.
Don’t start the conversation off with something boring like “Hey”, “Hi”, “How you doing?”. Basically, all you’re doing is putting the ball in their court to come up with something fun and interesting to talk about which is a lot of pressure.
Don’t message them repeatedly thinking that’s going to get their attention. Saying “Hey” 15 times in a row is not going to get them to respond to the 16th one.
Don’t get upset with them if they don’t respond in a timely fashion. Look sometimes people are busy and they have things going on so they may not be super responsive to your text messages. Be okay with that.
In my opinion, a good healthy conversation should always start on the basis of a question. Whether it’s you asking a question or you setting it up so they can ask you a question.
It looks something like this:
“Hey, I’m trying to think of a new fun hobby that I can try out because I have a little bit more free time on the weekends. What about you, what’s your favorite hobby? What do you love to do?”.
Or you can try framing it where they ask you a question like this:
“Oh my god, you will not believe what happened to me this weekend. I can’t believe I survived that!”
to which they may respond with curiosity and say something like this.
Now those are just two random examples. I’ve actually put together 20 Ice Breaker Conversation Starters in a free guide that you should definitely check out.
But I know there’s another challenge that you may be running into here and that is your crush just not responding on the platform that you’re messaging them on, so what do you do? You’re gonna need to change it up. If you’re sending them snaps and getting no response, try DMing them on Instagram. If that’s not working out, try sending them a text message.
Either way, change up the platform that you’re trying to communicate with them on because they may not be checking that platform that often or your message might be buried under other people’s conversations so changing up the platform actually increases the chances of them noticing you. Your conversation with your crush doesn’t have to end like this. You don’t have to end up ghosted, at the bottom of their inbox, forever forgotten.
Instead what’s going to have to change here if you want to have a more successful conversation with your crush is how you communicate with them and what you communicate with them about.
On that note, I’ll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.